Sleepless Nights and Infomercials

After our house burned down, I went several days without being able to sleep. I was exhausted but just couldn't’t settle into a deep sleep. I would wake up and think “Oh good, I slept!” Then looking at the clock I would realize I had only slept an hour and it was midnight with a long night ahead of me. Another peculiar pattern developed. I would relive the minute by minute details of the night of the fire as I watched the time passing on the clock in the bedroom.

I would usually be awake at 3:00 AM and think . . .OK this is the time that the fire was about to manifest itself. And then continue to relive the whole event minute by minute.

3:30 AM- this is the time we were half awake and hearing strange noises in the kitchen.
3:33 AM- this is when John got out of bed to find out what the cats were doing in the kitchen.
3:34 AM- this is when John comes back to the bedroom to tell me “Dear, the house is on fire.” (A certain calmness and amusement in his voice... maybe not the right word)

3:36 AM- this in when we all are running our own directions to get dressed and grab things as we exit the house

3:37 AM – backing out of the driveway with sons and dog and one cat in the van

3:38 AM – banging on the poor neighbors door and intermittently ringing the doorbell-

3:38 & 30 seconds- poor startled neighbor calling 911 for me

Eternity Later – still standing on neighbor’s yard waiting for the sound of the fire trucks

I could go on about the next 4 hours, but I won’t.

So there I was lying in bed reliving details. For relief, I would turn on the TV. As you know, there isn’t much to watch in the wee hours of the night, other than infomercials. One particular infomercial caught my attention, the one hair styling product called the Instyler. After my third night or so of watching this segment . . I resolved to buy it. The reactions, expressions, and gasps of astonishment were just too much to resist! I don’t think the product price was ever revealed. But $15 for a 30 day trial sounded great. Only after entering my 16 digit credit card number and all the shipping address details did I find out the true cost of my purchase. An additional 3 monthly payments of 39.95 would be processed! Yikes! That’s enough to make your hair curl!

Comfort My People

I received a daily devotional highlighting this verse . . . . .

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. 2 Corinthians 1:3-5 NIV

These verses really summed up something big for me. . . the whole reason I decided to write down my thoughts in a blog. If the house fire experiences impacted me and taught me life lessons, then perhaps my writing them down would be helpful and comforting to others. And when we experience God’s comfort toward us in our lives, it does overflow out of us.

He teaches us so much, from our trials of life. These lessons have lasting impact on who we are. They draw us to Him. They help us to love Him and trust in Him, because in those times, we know that we are inadequate to “handle” our troubles alone and we finally offer them up to God.

Everyone has trials of different kinds. Sometimes we look at other people and wonder how they can possibly carry the weight of the troubles they face. Looking at others can help bring new perspective to our own trials.

What I am learning is that going through a difficult trial can indeed bring about blessings and lasting change in my life. Talking with people who have persevered through difficult times, they will usually say that they would not remove those experiences from their lives. As painful as a situation may have been, it was also a blessing or a time of sweetness in their relationship with God. That is the kind of comfort that will overflow out of us.

His Eye Is On The Sparrow

Late in May, my son discovered a robin's nest in our shrub at the front corner of our garage. Every time we would exit the car and head for the house, a bird would fly out of the shrub, barely missing a collision with us. After the tenth time or so, the shock started to wear off!

By pulling back one of the branches, we could get a good look at any progress in the nest. First one egg, then two and finally three. Same thing watching the hatching process . . it was very exciting and fun getting updates.

On Memorial Day weekend, we had a nice family gathering at our house. A good number of my brothers and sisters families came over. We used the garage for setting out the food and ended up hanging out in the driveway to soak up the sun. Of course our robin parents weren't too happy about the large gathering so close to their nest. The poor dears hopped around the surrounding yards, chirping loudly to each other. I guess we must have displaced them for several hours. Feeling a bit sorry, I tried to move our group a little farther away from the shrub, to allow the birdies access to the nest. The babies were newly hatched, barely any feathers and eyes still shut. The picture I posted, is from that very day.

Well it was only a week later that our house burned down. If you can imagine the chaos and whirl of emotions of that morning, picture me wandering down the street and through neighbors yards. I was overwhelmed. But, I distinctly remember noticing my robin friends with me. They also were alarmed and distressed and hopping around the same yards as me. "Oh, your babies!" , I vocalized. Several times I observed the robin parents in various surrounding neighbors yards, watching all the crazy activity going on and unable to reach their nest. They were keeping me company in some ways.

Hours later, when all the activity died down and I was one of the last people around, I thought to check on the robin nest. I pulled back the branch and there were three feathered baby robins with eyes wide open staring back at me! It warmed my heart.

Luke 12: 6Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies[a]? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. 7Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.

My Three P's

A few weeks after the fire, I created a new lingo for myself. I call it my 3 P's. These are the things that were miraculously saved from the blazing house fire, and these are another reason that I thank God on a regular basis.

My Peeps
My Pics
& My Pets

Thinking back on the events, just imagine how terrible and tragic things could have been if we had lost a loved one. Is surely could have happened. 3:30 AM. We were not awaken by smoke detectors or the barks of our beloved dog, Pablo (who was sound asleep by our feet in bed with us, by the way). We were "blessed" to be at an age where we don't sleep very well or very long. We were conscious enough to acknowledge strange sounds coming from the kitchen. (which by the way, we were blaming on our cats) I say that God woke us up. It is also common, at our house, to have extra bodies on the weekends . . . say 1-3 extra people. That particular Friday night, no extras. Another reason to be thankful.

We were able to exit with 2 of our 3 beloved pets. John made an attempt to go back in to rescue our other cat, but already the smoke was building up and making it unsafe. Our youngest son was especially heart broken to have lost one of our cats. The rest of us were too, but we were very grateful that we got out safely, as we did. We stood and watched the house go up in flames in a matter of minutes. Before the Fire Department could arrive, the fire had shot all the way across the roof line and the flames were just blazing. It was a long period of time battling the fire. There were fireman on those huge extension ladders way up in the air, dumping water on the house from several angles. From 3:30 AM to probably 7:30 or so. As the fire department was packing up, I asked a fire fighter to check for our cat. I just knew that the most likely place to find him would be under our bed. We were not allowed to enter the house because there was so much water pouring through the ceilings. There was a real risk of the 2nd floor falling in on the 1st with the weight of the water. When I heard what the fireman shouted out, I was ecstatic. "Will he bite me?" I called out the good news to our children. There was great rejoicing!

Next I began to think of all the things I had lost in the fire. I thought about all the pictures from our wedding and the kids as babies and all the memories. It was very sad to think about. I asked a different fireman to go looking for any pictures he could save. I gave him directions of where to look and a little while later, he emerged with an big arm load of albums. Yes! He continued to make trips back into the house and just kept bringing out more and more treasure. Again, I was astounded. There was even a stack of loose photos, some of my favorites of the kids growing up, that was just sitting near the floor by a book shelf. He carried those out as well. We even have our old high school year books and scrap books. Almost all of the framed photos were recovered off the walls. It was miraculous!

So there you have my 3 P's.
Peeps, Pics and Pets . . . . thank you God!

The Morning After

The day our house burned down, our friends immediately opened up their home to us. It was a real comfort to us, to be surrounded by friends and not be isolated in some hotel room. In the midst of crisis, I felt confused and distracted by all the crazy details. By the time I headed to bed that day of the fire, some of the realities where starting to hit me. I felt sadness and anxiety of not being able to return “home”. Home, that place where you go to relax, regroup, and return to normalcy. Well that place was now gone. Being able to return “home” brings a certain comfort and reassurance that was now missing for me.

I had a really hard time sleeping that night. I slept for very short periods of time. I lay in bed awake for hours. When the sun started to rise, I just had to get out of bed and wanted to meet with God and get out of the house. I grabbed my bible (which was saved out of the house!) and went looking for a box of tissues to take with me. I resorted to grabbing an extra roll of toilet paper from under a bathroom sink and left the house as quietly as I could.

I wandered into the back yard considering different locations to sit and think and pray. There were many. Next to the pool was a very nice swinging bench with a roof overhead. A group of Adirondack chairs around a fire pit. A wooded ravine further back. I headed for the edge of the sunken wooded ravine. I was in disbelief of what my eyes saw below. I wondered if I was in some sort of dream, if it could be real. Had God brought me into this place of beauty to sooth my soul? Was this place here, in reality, or was I in some altered state? I wasn’t sure.

Below me lay a vast sunken meadow with a winding stream weaving its way through the beautiful green carpet of foliage, under a canopy of beautiful trees. Just totally unexpected and beautiful. I ventured into this beautiful place and tried to take in all in. I walked along the stream and saw fish jumping, and frogs and the birds were singing. There were hand built bridges to cross the water and places to sit. It was breathtaking. I was touched and thankful and comforted by God.

Eventually I headed back up to the yard and decided to take a walk down the street as well. I set down my Bible and my roll of toilet paper in the driveway before heading out. I laughed to myself, imagining the impression I would make on the neighbors seeing my items in the driveway. Later I shared my morning story with our friends who summed it up as, “Holy shit!” We all had a good laugh.