To Open and Close Doors

After the fire, I found it difficult to settle myself enough to be able to clearly seek and hear God’s will for us. So one of the things I prayed often, and asked others to pray for us, was for God to “open and close doors”. I wanted God to remove our inadequacy of hearing and waiting on Him and just make things happen as He willed for us.

One of the biggest challenges of our fire experience was finding a new house. Now, one would think this would be an enjoyable process, but not for us. In our past experiences, we were not under any pressure to buy and always seemed to know if a house was the right one, when walking through it. This time we spent hours reading the online listings for houses and walking through many, many homes, never feeling we had found the right one. The frustrating part was not even knowing what exactly wasn’t right about a house or what was missing. Weeks went by. I knew that each week that passed would pushed us further and further back in our closing and move in dates. We wanted to be settled before school started and be in the right school district. Frustration and anxiety started building up in me. More hours reading online house listings and clicking through more pictures, trying to remember why each house had been crossed off the list. Trying to find something of interest to schedule yet another viewing. I remember leaving work one night and just driving through neighborhoods over and over again looking for that special house that somehow missed our attention. I think I was crying at one point and pleading with God to help us find a new “home” again. I knew that my time here on earth was not my “real home”, but I desperately wanted a place to call home again and soon. When I walked into our friend’s house they looked at me strangely and knew that I was not feeling like my normal self. This of course added more pressure to my dear friend/realtor/housemate to find us that perfect home to buy.

We did come across a house that seemed to be a good choice. It was a modest size with some very nice features and updates. It had a nice fenced in yard and a very nice finished basement and technically we could grow old in it and not need to downsize. The drawbacks, however, were that the seller had an inflated asking price and was NOT willing to budge . . . .at all. I remember feeling quite angry with this gentlemen and thinking unkind thoughts about him. We felt that we had a made a very fair offer that was still considerably over the market value of the house, and he did not bother to respond to our offer. We were not willing to pay the price he was hoping for and this left me feeling lost as to where to look next. (I drive by that very house every day on my way home. It is only a half mile from our home!) Finally God has made me wiser and now I remember to feel thankful for God’s guidance in “closing that door” for us. We found something much better. But it took me a few months to let go of that angry feeling . . .silly how our human nature works. (Ok, I hate to admit this but. . . even the kids were wanting to holler out the car windows when we drove past this house. ) There was a metal work of art in the back yard of a pig with wings and I was thinking . . . yeah that’s about when you will find a buyer to pay your asking price . .. .when pigs fly!

I think it was the day or so after my meltdown moments. My dear friend (and realtor & house mate) called me on my cell phone and said to me, “I’m telling you Tina, this is the one. This is the house you are looking for. It just came on the market today.” We scheduled a showing that same afternoon! And we returned the next day and wrote up an offer. And with a little negotiation we were on our way to having a “home”. The sellers were taken a bit off guard. They were expecting a six to nine month time period to sell the house and weren’t scheduled to be transferred out of the area for many more months. So we were making them homeless, so to speak! Three weeks later we met for the closing and were handed keys to our new “home”. It is a beautiful place. We feel so blessed. God was so sensitive to us. He found a place that had a beautiful wooded ravine right behind the house, just like our former home. He found us a place where we didn’t need to shut any curtains on the back of the house. Let the birds see in! He found us a place that is a wonderful blessing to our lives and now we are asking how we are to use this gift to serve Him.

Matthew 7:7-8 7"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 8For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.

Isaiah 22: 22b “what he opens no one can shut, and what he shuts no one can open “

Community Living

One of the unexpected benefits of our house fire was the experience of community living and sharing a home all summer long. Our dear friends were some of the first people we called the morning of the fire. They immediately opened their home to us and began preparations for our arrival. Our friends have a very beautiful and spacious home. They were very gracious to us. Their teen sons opened up their bedrooms for us. They call us "Aunt Tina" and "Uncle John" and our children do the same for them. Both of our families are blessed with sons. The guys took over the basement, where they had quite the bachelor pad. . . pool table, big screen TV, weight room, comfy furniture, and a room full of mattresses! Our friends had hosted baseball players in their home for several summers and had a perfect set up. Just the week before, they had decided to pass on hosting members of the Bull Frog baseball team for the summer. Just didn't want to commit to hosting that summer, without really knowing why. I guess God was holding our reservation open for us.

Besides the obvious stresses and adjustments of loosing a home to a fire, we really felt comfortable and welcome right away. The kids were quite enjoying the company. It was almost like we were on some kind of extended vacation together, which we have done together several times over the years. It was such a blessing to have all the interaction with friends. I can't imagine being isolated in a hotel room somewhere. This was so therapeutic for us.

Now it may sound like we were taking advantage of our friends' generousity. . .but we also brought others into their home with us! Our oldest son's good friend has spent a great deal of time with our family over the years. He has become like a second son to us. He and his mom were going through very difficult times grieving the loss of a relative, so this young man moved in with us. We also have some former foster daughters who are now mothers themselves. Those little foster grand babies spent some nights with us too. And true to form, our sons always seem to have a buddy sleeping over or spending a weekend with us, so they too moved in occasionally. Our friends also have an older son who would visit from Milwaukee. This house was a favorite gathering place for high school buddies, so there were always people coming and going. On an average day, we were 9-12 people living together in that house. And really things went quite smoothly. Honestly, even after the two full months, we were doing well together. We wondered if maybe television crews might show up for some reality TV show episodes. I guess we didn't have enough conflicts to make things exciting.

We did get a taste of what community living is like. We all seemed to like it. We bought lots of groceries, helped share the work load of chores, yard work, cleaning, cooking and laundry. We learned to prepare large amounts of food. (5 teen boys to feed!) We shared in parenting and disciplinary matters. We shared expenses. Our doggies shared the food dish! Both families seemed to learn and benefit from each other. I guess God knew that we needed each other. It felt good to receive and to give.

The day I drove away with the last load of stuff in the car, I had tears in my eyes. We hadn't really planned when we would officially move out. It was quite a shock when all the togetherness was over. There was some type of void hanging in the air. Its a void that is still felt even today as we remember, with gratitude and fondness, our dear friends.

The Believers Share Their Possessions Acts 4:32
All the believers were one in heart and mind. No-one claimed that any of his possessions was his own, but they shared everything they had.

Sky Lights and Sunny Days

Our home burned down on a Saturday morning. We returned to the house on Monday morning. There were many people to meet, information to be discussed, details to be remembered, and decisions to be made. We did the best we could. It was hard to walk in and take in all the damage and destruction. Much of the house lay wide open. Strangely, I was very aware of the blue skies above me and the warm sunshine on my face. The birds were singing cheerfully. This brought a strange sense of peace and hope to a disturbing situation.

My kitchen was probably my favorite feature of our house and I spent the most time there. I loved to cook on my wonderful gas cooktop on the huge kitchen island. I was in my zone there. I had an incredible pantry cupboard with flip out shelves that stored unbelievable amounts of food. I had a built-in china cabinet with glass doors. The cherry cabinets provided more space than I could fill. The only thing my kitchen lacked was sunlight and brightness. I wanted a sky light. So something about standing in the crazy mess, being warmed by the sunshine, brought me comfort. I always wanted sky lights!

My Little Lady

I have the cutest figurine. She always makes me smile. She sits in my kitchen window sill with that silly expression. "I can't believe what you just did!" She watches me as I wash my dishes, cook up some pancakes, or dance with my children. The artist Lori Mitchell has a fabulous collection of other adorable figurines. I picked out my little lady on our anniversary get away in Stillwater, Minnesota, in a little antique gift shop on the main street. I wish I had a picture of her in our former house. She was just darling sitting in my bump out kitchen window amongst my collection of blue glass bottles and sentimental keepsakes. That kitchen window was in fact the origin of our house fire. . .outside and underneath this very window. I can still picture the flames dancing through the glass. The fire inspectors, of course, gave great attention to this area of the kitchen, searching for clues and evidence. The window panes had burst open shattering some of my glass bottles and vases in the intense heat. I remember standing outside with the fire inspectors discussing the scene, when I caught a glimpse of her. Peering into the rubble, I could see her bright red and yellow form. I remember saying, "It would mean a lot to me if you would reach in and grab that figurine for me." And there she was, as cute as ever! Her delicate ribbon around her neck was still tied in a pretty bow. Some black soot, but her darling expression still beaming at me saying "You won't believe what I just saw!" I placed her next to my computer monitor at work to be a constant reminder. I did not clean her for a few months. When I did clean her, I purposely left the little smudge mark on her face. It is her beauty mark. It is my affectionate reminder of God's ability to guard and protect. . . . an amazing realization. She is back on duty in my kitchen window.

Isaiah 43:2-3 When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the LORD, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Saviour